Mustard Seed

Mom sucked her teeth as she disapprovingly looked over my photo attempt of her and my little brother, Tyler.

“Sterling, you cut off our heads,” she said. “And it’s not centered. Tyler, show your brother how to properly take a picture.”

Tyler smirked at me as he walked over — camera in hand. I could feel my ears burning with embarrassment as my 7-year-old brother — about two years my junior — pointed to the camera’s functions.

After his impromptu tutorial, he gave the camera to me to take another photo.

After the camera flashed, I hesitantly looked at the image that appeared on the camera screen.

Their heads weren’t cut off — but there was virtually no “ceiling” above their heads.

Mom let out a deep, disappointed sigh and told us to get ready for bed.

It’s late at night and I’m sitting on my couch with CNN on in the background.

My thumb is scrolling feverishly up and down my Twitter timeline in the wake of the 2015 Baltimore protests.

My eyes widened, my mouth slightly agape in shock, as I looked at videos of looting and clashing between the city’s police and its black and brown citizens.

Among the chaos, a powerful image emerged from city native, Devin Allen.

The photo took me to the scene.

I could hear wailing sirens, the riot police’s earth-shaking, synchronized stomping and impassioned “Black Lives Matter” chants.

It was easily one of the most powerful photos I’d seen in recent memory.

From there, I was inspired. I wanted to take photos that made me feel like Devin’s — dynamic, powerful and emotive.

Then I remembered I had 20-year-old’s bank account.

I’m staring at my laptop screen slowly scrolling an eBay page of a Canon 70D camera.

For several weeks, I was looking at YouTube reviews, asking for recommendations from my photographer friends and making sure my bank account and I were on one accord.

Finally, I was here about to take my first step into the abyss of photography.

A few days later, my camera arrived.

While, I was excited, I was also intimidated. My doubts began to slowly seep in.

Flashbacks of my youth taking askew photos plagued my mind and caused me to procrastinate in diving headfirst into photography.

Eventually, I got out of my head and opened up the packaging.

“You’ve got to make the camera do what you want it to do,” Bobby Wiggins, one of my friends — an accomplished photographer — said with my camera in his hands, with his frame hunched over my car window frame.

I gingerly shook my head as my eyes widened with curiosity and intimidation as he pointed out the endless capabilities of my camera.

“But at the end of the day, the best way for you to learn is to go out and shoot.”

And that’s what I did.

I went out around town and took terrible photos — learning about the F-stop, framing, shutter speed, ISO…allat. But eventually, I discovered what worked for me.

In the last two years, I’ve experienced a range of emotions with photography. Days of selecting the perfect settings in Manual mode and then days of blurry, out-of-focus, askew photos and not realizing it until I’ve uploaded them into Adobe Lightroom.

But there’s beauty in the struggle as coined by urban philosopher Jermaine Cole.

I didn’t get into photography solely for reactions from my peers, (but it is dope to receive compliments from your mentors, friends and family). Rather, to express myself and God’s creations through my lens.

I love taking single subject photos and when I edit, I love to use heavy shadows and whites to give my photos dimension and emotion.

Since I began in January of 2017, I’ve shot a wedding, various family occasions, work events and concerts. But I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface of where I want to take my photography.

I hope one day I can combine my God-given gifts to pursue my passions — writing, music and photography — and at the same time, give glory to my God.

The challenge is finding out where this niche is.

A special thank you to Devin Allen, Bobby Wiggins, Travis Ellison, Joshua Kissi and Tobi Oluwo for being incredible mentors, inspirations and friends during my photography journey.

Sterling Giles